Wedding Planning 101 - Part 14 Ceremonies and Traditions (Cont)

SYMBOLIC CEREMONIES, HERITAGE, CUSTOMS AND TRADITIONS

WEDDING CEREMONIES AND TRADITIONS

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FLOWER CEREMONIES

Flowers took a prominent role in last week's post on Recognition Ceremonies performed during weddings.   This week we will take another look at some other ways flowers are incorporated in wedding ceremonies.  

We are all familiar with the flower girl dropping petals prior to the bride walking down the aisle.  We also know that floral arrangements both at the wedding and the reception hold a very significant place in wedding budgets.  But other than the obvious, how do you incorporate flowers in your ceremony?

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ROSE CEREMONY-  The rose has long been a symbol of love.  In many cultures a single red rose means I love you.  In the Rose Ceremony, the bride and groom exchange a single rose (usually red).  This exchange is the couple's first gift to each other as husband and wife and the rose will forever represent as the icon of their love.  It is said that when a couple faces a challenge in their marriage, if they present their partner with a single red rose, it signals that they remember their promise of unending love and are willing to  work out their problems.

As we discussed in last week's post, a variation of  the Rose Ceremony includes handing roses to the mother of the bride and groom (or other persons of honor such as the grandmothers) as the couple proceed down the aisle after the ceremony.

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WREATH/WEDDING CROWN/STEFANA CEREMONY - In the Greek and Eastern Orthodox traditions as well as some Pacific Islands, the officiant has two very ornate headbands or crowns usually on the altar.  At an appropriate time during the ceremony, the wreath or crowns are placed on the bride and grooms head and then exchanged between the two as the officiant reads a blessing or says a prayer.

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BOUQUET BLESSING CEREMONY - Like the rose ceremony, this ceremony can be done by either the groom and bride or members of their families.  The essence of the Bouquet Ceremony is to honor  family and/or friends who have played a major support role in the couples relationship by giving them flowers.  

Variations of this ceremony include having individuals from each family put roses in one vase.  The ceremony has a greater visual effect if you use 2 distinct colors for each family (for example the bride's family members would add pink flowers and the groom's would add red flowers).  But don't be afraid to try something different.  If it is more representative of your families' dynamics, use a variety of flowers and/or colors to form your bouquet.  

Whatever method you choose, the end result is a beautiful bouquet representing the joining of two families as one.  While family members are adding to the bouquet you can have someone recite a reading or perform a song.  Try to limit the number of family representatives to 5 or so, otherwise the ceremony gets too long and loses its significance.

Wedding Planning 101 - Part 13 Ceremonies and Traditions (Cont)

SYMBOLIC CEREMONIES, HERITAGE, CUSTOMS AND TRADITIONS

WEDDING CEREMONIES AND TRADITIONS 

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RECOGNITION CEREMONIES

Honoring the special people in your life is always nice but there is no better time to do it than to include the recognition in your wedding ceremony. Honoring parents, grandparents, children, deceased family members and other VIPs makes a personal statement that the honorees and your guests are not likely to forget when they reflect on your wedding day. 

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RECOGNIZING THE DECEASED

This recognition ceremony is held in memory of a loved one or person close to you.  There are many ways to honor their memory during the ceremony.

• Place a photo of the person on the altar or place of honor 

• Include a moment of silence, have someone do a special reading, or play their favorite song

• Light a candle in their memory

• Use their favorite flowers somewhere in your ceremony and make a note of it in your program

• Light a candle in memory of those who have gone on

• Attach a picture of the deceased to hang from your wedding bouquet and then acknowledge them during the ceremony

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PARENT RECOGNITION CEREMONY

What a better way to start your married life than to honor your parents, grandparents, godparents or other significant relatives in your life.  These are the people in your life who have played a significant part in supporting you and your spouse.  Like the Memorial service, the way you choose to honor them is up to you but here are a few ways to consider.

• Flowers always say love.  Gift them with a special flower, a corsage or a bouquet during the ceremony

• Include a poem or song in the service to honor them

• Take time during the ceremony to simply give them a hug and a kiss and acknowledge why their support has meant so much to you

• After the couple says their vows and are acknowledged as husband and wife, they present a single long stem rose to their mothers and grandmothers as they begin their walk down the aisle.

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PARENTAL VOWS CEREMONY

The reality of today’s society is that many people marry someone who already has children.  Just as the bride and groom’s lives are changing, so are the lives of their children.  Giving the children a special recognition and a memento to remember this special day has become a part of many ceremonies including my own.

• After the bride and groom have taken their vows, a similar oath is taken to include the children.

• The girl children are presented with a ring, such as a promise ring or a birthstone ring from their step-parent

• The male children can be presented with a piece of jewelry such as an engraved watch or a bracelet from their step-parent 

• A family medallion is another way to welcome children into a new family

Wedding Planning 101 - Part 12 Ceremonies and Traditions (Cont)

SYMBOLIC CEREMONIES, HERITAGE, CUSTOMS AND TRADITIONS

In further researching the information for wedding ceremonies and traditions, I uncovered so much good stuff that it would be an injustice to just lump it all together.  So in the tradition of the Spanish  I will serve you up a sampling of the ceremonies and traditions in smaller, bite-sized tidbits like tapas.  Enjoy!

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UNITY CEREMONIES
(So Much More Than The Unity Candle)

When we think of Unity Ceremonies, the first thing most people think of is the lighting of a Unity Candle.  Because it is so familiar to most people, it seems that this tradition has been a part of weddings for many years.  In reality it has only been in the last decade and a half that the lighting of the Unity Candle was widely included in wedding ceremonies.  


The lighting of the Unity Candle in a wedding symbolically joins through marriage, the bride and groom, or  joins the families of the bride and groom together.  The bride and groom or a representative of each of their families light a small candle and together they light a larger candle with the flame of the two smaller candles.  In some cases the smaller candles stay lit and are displayed along with the larger candle to symbolize each person keeping their individuality in the marriage; in others the smaller candles are blown out to symbolize the two becoming one.  

Unity ceremonies are not just for the bride and groom.  These ceremonies are also a good way to incorporate other family members as the two families join together.  In more recent years some couples even include the entire congregation in their unification ceremonies.   They are also not limited to just lighting Unity Candles.  Today's post will explore ways to incorporate other types of Unity Ceremonies in your wedding.

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MIXING CEREMONIES

A Mixing Ceremony is the act of combining two elements to produce a whole element.  This joining can take place as a blending or as layering, depending on the element.  Water, wine and sand are the most common elements used in Mixing Ceremonies.  

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Water 

The bride holds one glass of water and the groom another.  The water is poured into a third larger vessel as a symbol showing the couple is now one.     

To add to the affect of this ceremony, you can use a different color for the bride and groom and when they combine their individual glasses the joining creates a third color.

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Wine Sharing/Loving Cup 

The bride and the groom are each presented with a glass of wine.  They in turn pour their individual glasses into one glass and each drink from that glass as a symbol of unity.  

One way to more visibly show the wine mixing and tie this Mixing Ceremony into the reception is to use a white wine for one and a red wine for the other.  As the couple join their wines together, they now have a rose' wine.  Use a rose' as your signature drink at the reception or to toast the bride and groom.

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Sand  

The origins of the sand ceremony were probably inspired by the salt covenant (discussed in a later post).  The bride uses one color of sand and the groom uses another.  Each pours a layer of their sand from separate vials into a clear vessel or vase until all the sand is layered.  This creates a lasting work of art that the couple is able to keep and symbolizes joining their individual lives (layers) into one work.

  

A variation to this ceremony is to add the officiant to represent God in the union.  The officiant first pours in a neutral color symbolizing God as the foundation of the marriage and then the bride and groom add their layers.  The three continue to pour layers of their sand in equal layers.

Wedding Planning 101 - Part 11 - Ceremony and Traditions

HERE COMES THE BRIDE

If you have been following me along this journey to the alter, you will soon be getting ready for your own walk down the aisle before you know it.  To help you to your destination, today we will take a look at a typical, traditional wedding ceremony.

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Your first big decision - whether to have a church ceremony or not - should have been made months ago at the beginning stages of your wedding planning.  In many ways, that choice will be the driving force for your ceremony options.  Although the phrase "typical" is relative in today's ever-changing world, the following is an outline of the order of service for a traditional church ceremony.

1.     Guests are seated
2.     Family members escorted to their seats signaling the wedding's start
3.     Groom, wedding officiant and best man enter sanctuary
4.     Processional - bridal party make their entrance
5.     Ushers prepare for bride's entrance 
6.     Ring bearer and flower girl enter precede bride 
7.     Bride enters sanctuary 
8.     Officiant directs the service, vows, exchange of rings
9.     Symbolic ceremonies or readings are performed
10.     Officiant directs couple to take their first kiss & introduces as Mr. & Mrs.
11.     Recessional - Bride and Groom followed by bridal party and parents
12.     Couple, parents and wedding party receive guests

While this program order is pretty standard, most couples will also want to also incorporate unique elements to their ceremony that allow them to personalize their wedding and honor their family's own heritage and customs.  Think about who you and your future spouse are and then decide which elements will allow you to give your wedding ceremony guests a glimpse of you as a couple.  

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The Music

 

Traditional wedding music such as Here Comes the Bride by Richard Wagner or Canon in D Major by Johann Pachelbel are nice, but you may want to update your I Pod choices to include some new favorites for your ceremony.  Here again, is your chance to share your culture and your music whether music taste leans toward country western or runs to smooth jazz.  Kenny G's Wedding Song or Johnny Gill's You for Me are two of my favorite church-approved favorites.  And speaking of nontraditional.  Instead of using just a piano or a harpist, why not jazz it up a little by throwing in some smooth sax.

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Aisle Style

Gone are the days of a boring white paper runner.  The 21st Century bride has so many options to brand their personal wedding style - vibrant colors, monograms, dates, personal expressions.  If you can think of it, someone can make it.  And showing up on more and more wedding runways is one of the newest 

wedding trends,  personalized 

wedding banners are another sure way to input

 some of your personality into your ceremony.

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The
Supporting
Cast

Using ring bearers and flower girls is cute, but once again you have options.  One recent trend is that is catching on in popularity is to have the flower girls precede the bride by ringing bells and proclaiming "The Bride is Coming!" But this task can also fall to the junior gentlemen in your wedding party as well.  Think bell ringers instead of traditional ring bearers.  With every little girl longing to be a princess, one way to help fulfill their fantasy is to have them a wand of flowers down the aisle instead of the traditional basket of petals.

And while you are being adventurous, reconsider the traditional honor of being escorted down the aisle.  If you are lucky enough to still have both parents why not invite them both to share in this magnificent walk down the aisle with you?  The Mother of the Bride plays just as important a part in your big day as your father, so show her how much you care.  But don't be limited.  You are flexible to fill this role of honor with anyone who has played a major role in your life.

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SYMBOLIC CEREMONIES

Heritage, Customs and Traditions

Your own ethnicity, heritage, customs and family traditions should be woven throughout your wedding tapestry to reflect the unique threads that blend you together as a couple.  There are so many options to choose from and more are being integrated into weddings every day.  In researching this part of the article I discovered I had enough material to write a whole column on this subject alone so rather than list them all I will defer the details of this category to next week's post.

Wedding Planning 101 - Part 10 - Flower Power!

Never Under Estimate the Affect of Florals!

Your wedding flower choices can add an unforgettable element of power to your event.  Long after people have forgotten about the favors, songs or food, the memory of your decor will remind them of your wedding.  So it stands to reason that you would want your flowers to be one of the major elements of your style.

FRESH FLOWERS

Fresh Flowers are always a beautiful addition to any decor.  They also do double duty by adding a subtle fragrance to the room.  Using fresh flowers liberally throughout your event can take a big bite out of your bridal budget.  But if you just have your heart set on using fresh florals, there are ways to do it and still save money.

• Use locally grown AND seasonal flowers.
• Find a large national flower chain.  They offer options for every bride's price point.
• For the DIY (Do It Yourself Bride) don't rule out large chains like Costco, Sam's Club or even your local grocery store (just be sure to practice first and contact them far enough in advance to make sure they can accommodate your order).

ALTERNATIVES

Use silk flowers.  The key to using silk flowers is the quality of the flower.  Buy the best you can afford and your silks can be a scene-stealer.  

(If you want the illusion of the flower fragrance, discretely use room freshener, scented oil or potpourri.)

Silk Flowers

Wooden roses delicately carved from wood shavings, can be a uniquely affordable alternative to real or artificial flowers.  

Wooden Roses

 Seasonal berries and fruit or vegetables can be used as either a filler or the main attraction.

And don't be afraid to use lots of greenery and filler to make your florals stretch further.

And if you have searched and searched and still haven't found something to fit your style..........

  For the couple that wants the WOW,

opt for something totally different.  

One of my personal favorite alternatives is this love knots bouquet.

Victorian Fancy

And don't forget the bling.

Swarovski Crystals

Sea Shells

Fanciful Feathers

 A Touch of Elegant Whimsy 

 Buttoned Down

and Environmentally Correct

 Totally Wired